It started, like a lot of things do, at a party.
My friend spotted him across the room, thought he was cute, and did what we all do in those moments, she started running the internal checklist. Not the big stuff yet, just the quiet questions. Is he kind? Is he interesting? And most importantly… will he get my sense of humor?
Because let’s be honest, humor is not small. It’s everything.
So she took a chance.
Somewhere between casual texts and hanging out, she introduced him to one of her personal comedy staples, Throw Momma from the Train. To her, it was iconic. Absurd, a little dark, completely quotable. The kind of movie you don’t just watch, you reference.
And just to really test the waters, she added another layer, something from the 2000s with that same offbeat energy, Death at a Funeral. Different tone, same idea, humor that lives in the uncomfortable, the awkward, the unexpected.
Now Tom, we’ll call him Tom, didn’t immediately get it.
At first, he watched those movies like… okay? This is funny?
But here’s the thing. He stayed curious. He paid attention. Not just to the films, but to her. Why she laughed, what moments hit, how her humor worked. And slowly, something shifted.
He didn’t just start understanding the jokes. He started understanding her.
Fast forward a year, they’re engaged.
Fast forward five years, they’ve built a life, two kids, and now they’re debating whether or not to get a cat, which honestly feels like the most accurate relationship milestone of all.
And it all started with a question that didn’t sound that serious at the time:
Will you laugh at the same things I do?
There’s something really underrated about letting your personality show early, especially the quirky parts. The things you might think are “too niche” or “too weird” are often the exact things that create real connection.
You don’t have to edit yourself down to be understood.
Sometimes the right person just needs a moment to catch your rhythm.
So here’s the question I’ve been thinking about:
Do you use your favorite movies, songs, or inside jokes as a kind of litmus test in your relationships?
Is there something you can quote from beginning to end, something that feels like you, and do you share that freely… or do you hold back?
Because you really never know.
The thing you think might push someone away could end up being the very thing that pulls the right person closer.
(Photo by Simone Secci on Unsplash.)
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