COREY STRONG

A loving note from your friend who has learned the hard way…

Okay, friend, come closer. Let me tell you something before we get into lists and rules. First dates are awkward because they ask us to be emotionally mature before we actually are. And sometimes we fail. Spectacularly.

Many, many years ago, I was 17 and went on what you could generously call a blind-first date. We were supposed to see a movie with a group of friends. When I finally saw her in person, I was shocked. Not confused. SHOCKED. I panicked, fully froze, and instead of doing the adult thing, I ran. I literally left the movie theater. I didn’t strand her, thank God, friends were there, but I absolutely disappeared.

Was that kind? No. Was I emotionally prepared to tell someone I wasn’t attracted to them? Also no. Do I cringe thinking about it now? Deeply. So yes, judge me gently, I already have.

Which brings me to this list, written with love, humility, and growth.

First Date Do’s

From someone who learned by doing it wrong first.

Do be honest with yourself about where you’re at emotionally.
If you’re nervous, unsure, or not ready, that’s okay. Self awareness counts as maturity.

Do show up as you are.
Not the polished version, not the cool version, just you. Anyone worth your time wants that person anyway.

Do communicate kindly.
Attraction matters, but so does compassion. You can be truthful without disappearing into the night like I did.

Do pay attention to how you feel during the date.
Relaxed? Curious? Safe? Or tight, anxious, performing? Your body always knows first.

Do remember that this is just one moment, not your whole future.
A first date is a conversation, not a verdict.

First Date Don’ts

Please learn from my youthful chaos...

Don’t ghost mid-date.
Yes, even if panic kicks in. Especially if panic kicks in. Take a breath. Stay human.

Don’t force attraction because you feel bad.
You’re not required to want someone just because they’re kind or interested.

Don’t overshare to compensate for nerves.
You don’t need to explain your entire emotional history to justify your presence.

Don’t ignore discomfort just to be polite.
Kindness does not mean self abandonment.

Don’t shame yourself for past mistakes.
Growth means you get to laugh, learn, and do better next time.

One last reminder…

We weren’t all raised knowing how to communicate feelings, boundaries, or attraction. Some of us ran out of movie theaters. Some of us stayed too long. Either way, we learn.

A good first date doesn’t leave you replaying everything in your head or feeling small. It leaves you clearer. And clarity is always a win.

Now tell me, have you ever had a first date you still think about and shake your head?

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(Title photo by Good Faces, couples photos by René Ranisch on Unsplash.)