So I got a message from a listener, and I’m not going to lie… it kind of sat with me longer than I expected.
They were talking about someone in their life who has been there for them, like genuinely supportive, kind, helpful when it mattered. Not surface-level. Real support.
But then… not always.
And that’s where it gets tricky.
Because it’s not inconsistent enough to call it out and say, “this person isn’t showing up for me.” That would almost be easier. It would be cleaner.
This is more like… they show up, they’re great, you feel good about it. And then there’s a gap. No real explanation, just distance. And then they come back again, picking right back up like nothing ever shifted.
And now you’re sitting there like…
“Wait. Did something change, or am I just in my head?”
And I felt that.
Because the listener said something that I think a lot of people feel but don’t say out loud. They were like, “I don’t know if I’m overthinking it, or if I’m starting to notice something real.”
That line right there.
Because what do you do when nothing is technically wrong… but something doesn’t feel right either?
There’s no blow-up. No betrayal. No clear moment you can point to and say, “that’s the problem.”
It’s just a shift in energy.
And now you’re hyper-aware. You’re noticing the timing of things. The way someone shows up. The way they don’t. The little changes that nobody else would clock, but you do.
And then comes the internal conversation…
“Am I expecting too much?”
“Should I just be grateful for what I get?”
“Is this just how people are?”
Because when someone has shown up for you in a real way, you almost feel guilty questioning it.
Like… who am I to ask for consistency when they’ve already given me something meaningful?
But at the same time…
Why does it feel like I have to keep recalibrating every time they come back?
That’s the part that gets me.
It’s not about them being a bad person. And it’s not even about them being fake. Sometimes people are just… limited. Or they shift. Or they pull back in ways that have nothing to do with you.
But your experience of it still matters.
If you feel like you’re constantly trying to read between the lines… that’s something.
If you feel like you can’t quite relax into the connection… that’s something.
If every time they show up again you’re a little relieved, but also a little confused… that’s something too.
And I think we’ve been taught to ignore that.
To wait for something to be obviously wrong before we trust ourselves.
But sometimes awareness doesn’t come in a dramatic moment.
Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s just you sitting there thinking…
“Something about this isn’t landing the way it used to.”
And instead of rushing to label it, or dismiss it, or make it mean something extreme…
Maybe it’s enough to just acknowledge it.
Not everything needs an immediate answer.
But it does deserve your attention.
Read more articles on Personal Growth.
Photo by Anna Shvets.
Leave a Reply