When I was a kid, I thought adults had it all figured out.
I assumed there was some secret meeting on your eighteenth birthday where they handed you a binder labeled How Everything Works.
Turns out…
There is no binder.
There is only confusion.
I’d like to officially nominate these items for the Adult Starter Pack.
1. A drawer full of chargers that belong to absolutely nothing.
You refuse to throw them away because one day, somehow, against all odds, you’ll need the charging cable for a digital camera you haven’t owned since 2012.
2. Standing in the kitchen wondering why you walked in there.
Not once.
Not twice.
Seven times before noon.
3. Saying “I’m not buying anything.”
Then walking into Target.
You leave with decorative hand towels, a candle named Mountain Whisper, batteries you didn’t need, and somehow…a plant.
4. Becoming irrationally excited over a new sponge.
As a kid, Christmas meant toys.
As an adult?
“This sponge has two different scrubbing textures.”
Life comes at you fast.
5. Looking at the weather before making plans.
Teenage Corey would’ve gone outside wearing whatever looked cool.
Adult Corey checks three different weather apps like he’s preparing for an expedition to Antarctica.
6. Suddenly caring about throw pillows.
I don’t know when it happened.
One day I woke up and thought…
“You know what this couch needs?”
Texture.
Who am I?
7. Making weird noises every time you stand up.
Nobody prepares you for the soundtrack that accompanies aging.
It’s like your body starts narrating every movement.
8. Grocery shopping feels like financial gambling.
You walk in for milk.
You leave wondering how three bags of groceries somehow cost the same as a concert ticket.
9. Canceling plans feels incredible.
When I was twenty, I wanted invitations.
Now?
Sometimes the greatest gift another human can give me is texting:
“Hey, can we reschedule?”
Absolutely.
Take care of yourself.
I already changed into sweatpants.
10. You finally understand why your parents turned the lights off.
Every room doesn’t need to look like Times Square.
The funny thing is, none of these moments are life changing.
But they’re strangely comforting.
Because every one of us is quietly collecting the same little experiences that nobody mentions when we’re young.
Maybe adulthood isn’t about having everything figured out.
Maybe it’s just learning to laugh when you realize you’ve been looking for your phone while holding it in your hand.
Again.
And honestly?
That feels like progress.
Question of the Day: What’s one completely random thing you do now that would’ve made your younger self laugh?
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