Recently, I had a podcast guest flake on me.
Truthfully, it wasn’t even the end of the world because lately I’ve been leaning more toward solo episodes anyway. I’m honestly at a point where I’m less interested in the fluff that can come with interviewing guests. Sometimes coordinating personalities, schedules, publicists, technical issues, and forced energy can feel more exhausting than inspiring. So the cancellation itself did not devastate me.
What interested me was the behavior.
I’ve always been somebody who watches people closely. Probably too closely sometimes. But I am not new to deceptive personalities, performative personalities, or people who know how to package themselves beautifully while privately being completely disconnected, disorganized, dismissive, or emotionally absent.
And with this particular situation, the signs were there before the actual flake happened.
The energy around the interview felt off from the beginning. There was no urgency, no real presence, no excitement. Communication felt disconnected. Preparation felt lazy. Even the “technical difficulties” felt less like unfortunate accidents and more like somebody who simply did not care enough to prepare.
And listen, technical issues happen. That’s life. That’s not even my issue.
My issue is always communication.
People underestimate how far honesty can go.
You can literally say:
“Hey, I’m overwhelmed.”
“I don’t think I’m in the right headspace.”
“I don’t really want to do this interview anymore.”
And honestly? That would have been okay with me.
There was another situation recently that reinforced this same lesson for me. I had booked a gentleman for my podcast and he eventually just disappeared and flaked altogether.
Years ago, I probably would have reacted much more negatively, at least internally. I would have replayed the disrespect in my head and taken it personally.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started realizing something important:
A lot of people are struggling with their own behavior.
And strangely enough, sometimes it’s the very people selling themselves as experts in emotional wellness, relationships, healing, journaling, mindfulness, or personal growth who seem to have the hardest time managing basic communication, accountability, and consideration for others.
That irony never stops amazing me.
Because at the end of the day, we all have moments where we don’t feel like showing up. I know I do.
There are days where I don’t want to record.
Days where I don’t feel social.
Days where my energy is low and I’d rather disappear into my own world than perform professionalism.
Ironically, before one of these interviews even started, I almost reached out myself because I genuinely was not in the mood to speak to the person anymore either. The energy already felt strange to me.
But I still chose professionalism.
I still chose to honor the time slot.
I still chose to communicate.
I still chose to show up correctly.
Because being an adult, especially being a professional, means learning how to navigate your emotions responsibly.
You either show up and honor your commitments, or you communicate honestly and change the plan.
What you cannot do is leave people confused, waiting, chasing you down, or trying to decode your silence.
That’s where maturity comes in.
And honestly, this is something I really want younger creators to understand because social media has made people think branding yourself as emotionally evolved is the same thing as actually being emotionally evolved.
It’s not.
Real growth is consistency.
Real growth is communication.
Real growth is accountability.
Real growth is being honest when you no longer have the capacity for something.
Anybody can post a quote about healing.
Anybody can light a candle and open a journal.
Anybody can create an aesthetic around self-awareness.
But how do you treat people when it’s inconvenient?
How do you communicate when you’re overwhelmed?
How do you handle commitments you no longer want to keep?
That tells me much more about a person than any curated online identity ever could.
There’s also this strange entitlement that exists now where people want visibility, support, promotion, and access to audiences without respecting the process that comes with it.
If you are coming onto someone’s platform to promote your work, your book, your brand, your project, or yourself, there should be effort attached to that.
You cannot expect access to people’s audiences while treating their time like it’s disposable.
Time matters.
Preparation matters.
Communication matters.
And honestly, the older I get, the less impressed I am by charisma alone.
I’m much more interested in consistency, consideration, accountability, and people who quietly do what they say they’re going to do.
That’s what actually stands out to me now.
Not the branding.
Not the image.
Not the performance.
The behavior.
(Special thanks to Andrea Piacquadio for the use of her photo!)
Leave a Reply